Goldilocks In My Own Words

So she goes into a cottage she has no business being in and ransacks the place as criminals are wont to do.  She eats the food and complains about the quality--it's too hot, it's too cold, there's too much of it, there's not enough of it, it doesn't have shaved truffles on it.  She touches all the private belongings of the property owner and none of them meet up with her standards.  Finally, disappointment causing her to be weary to the bone, she falls asleep on one of the beds which barely comes up to her requirements.

Then what happens?  I can't remember, honestly.  I hope the cops came and took her to jail.

Evelyn Nesbit